I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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