was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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