4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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