You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
