the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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