I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
