You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
