I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just pee around me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
