The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
