I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
