Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
