It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
