She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
