She is in my trunk
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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