help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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