absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
