i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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