conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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