He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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