Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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