So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
