Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
