I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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