I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
