do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
