Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
