this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
