Cold hands, warm shart.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
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