It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
