I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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