Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
