If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
