when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
