VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
