Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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