I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
