think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Boobs are out for the taking
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
