are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
