Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
