hell yes lets make some ravioli
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
