I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
