You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
