moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just pee around me
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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