jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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