Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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