Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
