i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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