we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
