K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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