Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
