I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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